6x01 TAG It's not too late to apologize
by PowerSchlumpfi
Summary: There were a lot of things he could bear in his quest for vengeance. Losing her wasn't one of these things. It took him quite a while to realize it, but when he did it was like a knife cutting his heart into tiny little pieces. / Setting in after the end of 6x01. Slightly (?) including Jisbon.


**A/N: This is my first english story and since I'm not a native speaker I apologize for mistakes in advance. But I just had to write this to calm myself. Please don't be too hard with me. ;)**

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There were a lot of things he could bear in his quest for vengeance. Losing her wasn't one of these things. It took him quite a while to realize it, but when he did it was like a knife cutting his heart into tiny little pieces.

Slowly, he dropped his phone from his ear, staring straight ahead into space in shock. A cold chill ran down his back when he realized what just had happened. He had her. Red John had her. There was a chance that she was still alive but with Red John one could never be sure.

Jane swallowed hard and tightened his grip around his phone, balling both hands into fists. He had to find her. He had to find her as fast as he could. A strange feeling in his stomach told him that she was still alive and that she needed him right now. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't. Not now, not after their bad fight, not when he didn't even have a chance to make up with her.

He took a deep breath and headed for the bullpen. His walk was firm and determined. He needed to be strong and calm now to find her. Freaking out now wouldn't do her any good.

"Grace, you have to locate Lisbon's phone." he said demanding, looking her directly in the eyes.

"What? No! Jane… look, she'll talk to you when she's ready. Give her time." The redhead gave him and understanding and encouraging look but he shook his head, leant down to her and gritted his teeth. He really didn't have the time for this.

"You don't understand. He has her. Locate her. NOW!" he said through his teeth, looking so serious Van Pelt didn't even hesitate one minute. She started typing into her computer.

"What do you mean, 'he has her'?" Rigsby asked from behind him and Jane turned around, eyes giving so much more feelings away than he wanted. Cho and Rigsby stared at him inquiringly.

"She called me, I answered, Red John talked to me. Is that enough?"

The eyes of his two colleagues widened in shock. This was serious. This was a sheer nightmare.

"I have her!" Van Pelt shouted and had the immediate attention from the three men. She gave them the address and they left the bullpen so quickly it was a small wonder that they weren't leaving a cloud of dust behind them.

Minutes that felt like an eternity for Jane later the men arrived at a dark and spooky looking house. They got out of the car, Cho and Rigsby guiding the way into the house with lifted guns and flashlights. The whole house was dark and silent. Jane looked around, trying to get any clue were Lisbon was. Fear sprouted somewhere in his body and spread all over him. What if he'd find her dead body? Cruelly slit open by the same killer that took him his family? His breathing accelerated and he had to hold on to a cold wall for a moment.

"Oh my god." He heard Rigsby whisper and he jumped. No! No, this couldn't be true! He ran into the room his colleagues had just entered and saw to bodies lying on the floor. No! He noticed Lisbon's petite body with her dark, curly hair immediately and knelt down next to her.

"No. No, no, no, please! Lisbon?" Jane grabbed her wrist. Panic flooded him as he was searching for a pulse she felt warm. That was a good sign. Seconds of despair passed until he finally found it. Her heart was still pumping blood through her body. He sighed in relieve and looked up to Rigsby and Cho.

"She's alive. Call an ambulance."

The taller man nodded and left the room, while Cho was leaning down to take a look at the second body.

"It's Partridge." he stated. "And he's dead." The wide opened eyes of the forensic were enough to know that.

Jane's mind was working up to speed now. Partridge. One suspect down off the list. Six remaining. What did Red John intended with this? He looked down at Lisbon. A smiley face was painted across her face. It was obviously Partridge's smiley. Probably drawn with his blood. But something was different. The eyes of the smiley face were vertical lines instead of horizontal. What's that supposed to mean? Underlining the fact that Lisbon wasn't dead yet? He didn't know.

"Lisbon!" he grabbed her hand and touched her bloody face softly. "Lisbon, please wake up. Come on. Look, I apologize. For everything. We shouldn't have argued. This is all my fault and I'm truly sorry." While he was talking he started to search her body for injuries. He found a small wound at the back of her head. Red John had knocked her out.

After a few minutes, she finally opened her eyes and slowly sat up, touching the aching back of her head. She looked around in confusion until she finally realized and remembered where she was and what had happened. "Jane." she whispered inquiringly. He was still holding her hand.

"You are alive! Thank God that I don't believe in." He hugged her tightly in relieve and she closed her eyes for a moment. His familiar smell calmed her a bit. When he let her go again, she noticed blood on his shirt that hadn't been there before he'd hugged her. She touched her face in confusion, shrieking when she saw the blood remaining on her fingers.

"Jane, what…"

"You are Partridge's smiley face." he said, giving her a soft and apologizing look.

"Oh my God. You mean this is… this…" she looked down at her bloody fingers. Her eyes rolled over and she was about to fall back down but Jane caught her before she could touch the ground with her back. It didn't takeher long to wake up again this time and when she opened her eyes she looked right into Jane's blue-green depths.

"Ah, there you are again."

"Can… can we please wash it off? I just… I need to wash it off." she begged and Jane nodded, helping her up on her feet. He guided her outside of the house where an ambulance already waited. Rigsby and Cho were talking to the neighbors to find out if somebody had seen something.

"Do you have something to wash her face?" Jane asked one of the paramedics.

"Sure."

He helped Lisbon sitting down on the edge of the opened ambulance. Another paramedic put a blanket around her trembling shoulders and started to examine her head wound.

The first reached Jane a wet cloth and he started to wash he blood away from Lisbon's pretty face. He brushed some of her strands away and she shivered slightly when his fingers touched her skin softly. He gave her an encouraging smile. The relief of seeing her breathing and shivering overflowed this heart and sent a strong feeling of affection through his body. It was a complete new feeling, a feeling he hadn't had in over ten years and it felt dangerously good.

"Jane, look, I… I'm sorry." Lisbon said quietly while he cleaned her face. She looked him directly in the eyes and he knew that she was being honest. She really was sorry. Just as sorry as he was.

"No. No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have dragged you into this in the first place but I guess I thought I couldn't do it alone. I'm sorry we argued. I really am."

"You were right Jane. You can't do this alone. That is why I am with you. And I'm sorry I didn't trust your gut feeling. You were right. I shouldn't have told Van Pelt and I certainly shouldn't have followed the GPS to Partridge alone. Red John used the bugged phones against us. Against me. Of course Red John wouldn't go around killing people and using his official phone at the same time. "

Jane washed the last bit of blood from her face and stroked over her wet cheek with his thumb. It was an intimate gesture that surprised them both a bit, so he let go and shrugged.

"Well, yes. It was kind of a useless idea. I know you think I don't know what to do and perhaps you are right but I know what we shouldn't do. And that's better than nothing for the moment, isn't it?"

Lisbon nodded and looked down to her hands. She was a bit ashamed of her failure. How could she have been so careless?

"Okay, I've sutured your wound. I reckon you have a mild concussion, so you should rest and visit a doctor tomorrow to check up on it."

"I will." Lisbon assured.

Jane put forth his hand to help her standing up and she grabbed it thankfully. But instead of letting her go again, Jane pulled her into his arms and held her close for a while. She could hear and feel the steady beating of his heart and a feeling of pure affection overflowed her own heart. She was happy that they'd made up and that everything was okay between them. They needed each other in this fight and it was more important than ever that they stuck together.

"Please don't frighten me like that ever again." Jane whispered in her hair. She said nothing but he knew that she'd learned something out of this, too. With Red John it was necessary to be twice as careful as usually. And he on his part had learned that she meant more to him than he'd realized and that he wasn't willing to be without her on his side. She was his partner and he needed her. And from now on, he'd do anything he could to protect her.

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**So far, so good. I'd really like to know what you think. I'm still a bit insecure with writing in english and I haven't had a beta, so... yeah. I hope you liked it anyway. I just had to express my feelings and thoughts about the season premiere. XX**


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